To make you feel my love

Life is funny. Not ROFL funny, but it amazes me each time again how Life steps in and never bothers to check your schedule.
You see, I am a fixer. A pragmatic, sensitive problem-solver with a knack for predicting needs of others. Always (trying) to think in solutions. Even when nobody asked me to.
This has made my life infinitely more difficult than it needs to be at times. Trying to fix people/situations/(imaginary) problems that can't be 'fixed'. So last year, as I was trying to 'solve' life as it was happening around me at high speed, I nearly did myself in.
A few things saved me. Some of them are purry and four-pawed and smell wonderful when you squeeze and breathe in their furry necks. Even when they don't feel like hugging you back.

And even though he doesn't realize it, my incredible husband kept me sane. He sometimes blames himself for not being able to reign me in from trying to take on the world single-handedly. (Hunny, talk to my Dad. After 36 years being married to my mom, he could teach you a few things...) But it is his unrelenting patience and willingness to help that helps me through the difficult times. That, Henri Bloem and my other favorite J's (Jason Mraz, John Mayer and Jamie Cullum).

Music has always been important for me. Maybe some of you have noticed that the majority my blog posts have song titles as names. I love to listen to the lyrics and sift through my file cabinets in my head. I have this whole soundtrack of my life stored in my head and heart and sometimes only the bassline of a song can trigger a place/time/person memory. So when we choose the music for our wedding, I knew pretty soon what I wanted. Joris walked down the aisle on the words of Bob Dylan's Make you feel my love. (I've put the lyrics below)

Sometimes it is even hard to keep things good when things are good. But it is when things are not that great that you can feel surrounded by love. The for better or worse kind. The kind that makes you not even think once before doing something you never thought you'd do, or be wherever it is that you are needed most. To be thankful and realizing that "the better is so much better than the worse is bad" (quote from book After Anne).

I truly believe that the purpose that I have been put on this earth for, is to love and make people feel my love. I have just re-committed myself to this. I had forgotten this.
Mom, if I could reach in and take away your pain, I would, a thousand times.
Joris, words can not describe how much I love you. Thanks for being you and therefore enabling me to be me.






Make You Feel My Love
Bob Dylan

When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love

When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no - one there to dry your tears
I could hold you  For a million years
To make you feel my love

I know you haven't made your mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment
That we met
No doubt in my mind where you belong

I'd go hungry
I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling
Down the avenue
You Know there's nothing
That I wouldn't do
 To make you feel my love

The storms are raging
On the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret
The winds of change
Are blowing wild and free
You ain't seen nothing
Like me yet

I could make you happy
Make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends
Of the Earth for you
To make you feel my love

Oh what a night!

I have a new phone. My loyal Snowflake (the white BB) was getting at the end of her life and we were offered new phones by our provider. So now I have Vanilla and we are NOT friends! (Yes, inanimate objects all have names in my household. Meet Lucy and Ricky)
I hate WhatsCrap, and I really miss the BB emoticons. I could really :'( about it.

The one thing I really like about the new phone is the nice pictures it takes. Or took. The touchscreen is so sensitive, I changed some settings trying to take a picture of one of the cats. Now they all come out looking like there was some heavy smoking in the room.

But that's besides the point. The reason I want to blog today is because yesterday was the first Lustrum of Soeks. 5 years ago I was kissed by this man, who I now have been calling my husband for the last 3 of the 5 years. So yesterday we relived our wedding day, looked at the pictures, reread our vows to each other and enjoyed being married with  cat-children. We looked back on 5 years together and ALL that we have achieved in that time and know that it is true: together we can do more than by ourselves.

I love you, Soeks, now up to 50 more years!

Us, back then....

These are a few of my favorite things....

Slumbering mothers held in place by nice kitties, 

     
                     Slow growing gardens, with new blooming veggies,

Starting new businesses, going full swing.....These are a few of my favorite things! 

My first tomato, 2006

My biggest tomato yet!

                                Procrasti-baking in the extreme...

Making cheese

                                 

                   

They are here!!

These are the days - Jamie Cullum

My parents will be here on Saturday (wooohoooo!)

This week is for us like Sweepstakes week on American television. Cliffhangers follows after mayor plot-changes and we are doing some rewriting of the lines as we go along. Sadly enough an important character for my father has been written out of this life, my uncle Gilberto has passed away quite unexpectedly last week. I hope it brings a little bit of comfort that my daddy will be here later this week, to see his only other brother for a while.

 But before that happens, we are making our house guest-worthy. I must say, it is going a lot better than expected! Without us realizing it, we have achieved quite a lot in the last few months. While cleaning out the stacks of to do lists I had lying around, I found a big piece of paper, on which at the end of winter we had tried to list all we still wanted to accomplish before summer’s end. I remember that while we were going room to room in our minds and listing all that was missing, we suddenly just stopped. And opened a bottle of wine to drink away the tears we felt coming up. It seemed so out of reach and hopeless. Yesterday we could check 9 out of 10 items on the list. It felt fabulous! And we opened another bottle of wine! With bubbles. :D

 We can really feel the stress levels come down in our little house. And that is good. And long overdue. We hope to offer my parents a relaxed break here in Holland and enjoy it with them. We also have our own vacation booked, so that is surely another thing to look forward to. Save the date: 7 Oct 2012 Happy Hour at Wet ‘n’ Wild, first drink on me!

 Another BIG deal for me: I saw my first wild (living) hedgehog! For almost two years I only saw them as road kill sadly enough, but this time in our own garden! I touched it!

 Also a good thing, I feel ready for the new academic year. I got all my grades in order, and my brain is ‘den bullpen kalentando’, and I’m excited about being back in school. According to my fellow students, this coming year will be a lot more relaxed and focused than the first, with more depth in the subjects, can’t wait!

(...because I love you...)

Tall ’n skinny, with big eyes and slender  hips,
those were the things I first saw in you.
Intelligence, wit, a tiny heart and sweet lips,
made the first spark follow through.

Though through to what nobody could predict,
but I was so willing to take the chance…
That way we had so easily clicked
continued to a full-blown romance.

Now it has been 1001 days and nights
Since that day at the beach we said I do
After many kisses and very few fights
Today i just wanted to tell you

That since then every morning
I have woken up proud:
Because you don’t know loving
until you have been Van Lieshoudt.

Happy 1001th wedding night anniversary, Soeks!

He cleans up rather well!

the posture I recognize from millions....