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Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Monday, September 12, 2011
Dag Oma
This week we laid to rest Bets van der Boom- Hanegraaf. Joris’ grandmother was 90 years old and had been ill for some time now. She was not a tall person to start with, but within the years that I know her even, she had shrunk some inches. As we said goodbye to her the final time we saw her, this tiny matriarch of Den Dungen, it once again made me wonder about the relative size of things.
When you are little, all things seem so big and unreachable! When you are anticipating something fun, 3 more nights sleeping seems like an eternity. And you can be 6 and a half years old, because that half year really counts. As you are growing up, relatively speaking, every year that passes by is a smaller fraction of your life up to then. As I am approaching another birthday, the last year, a 1/31st of my life, has passed by with 25 times the speed it used to when I was 5 (or so it feels).
It’s the same with places. The first time you go into a new workplace, it seems so huge and confusing. As you get more used to the place, it seems to shrink and become so known to you that you can never look at it like you did before. If you are lucky that is better than before, or it becomes a bitter disillusion (the jury is still out on the HEMA for me, they are killing my HEMA-love with HEMA-worst!).
People are not much different. With time, they become bigger or smaller in your view. Sometimes it is an ongoing up and down process, sometimes they shrink so much they disappear altogether. And a very few times, they grow so big, you can’t look past them to view your future.
My dear husband of almost (!) two years, is of the latter sort. In this time of trial, with a house that is hanging together with Alabastine at the moment, no kitchen, many early mornings and late nights, tight planning and even tighter budgets, he is still growing in my eyes. In real life he is 6’4” or about, big enough, but as he is standing there, with his hands at his sides, looking up at the fixing of the ceiling and explaining to me how he is going to make it work….His patience, genuine goodness, love for food and ability to talk 24-caliber nonsense attracted me from the beginning. And still does.
As I stood behind him, waiting to enter the church, the four grandsons accompanying their grandmother through the aisle towards the altar, it hit me. The lady we were saying goodbye to, from which the lifeblood of my husband came, possessed all the characteristics I love so much in him. I had felt that I did not know her that well, but now I know that I am blessed to be able to admire her living legacy every day, for the rest of my life, till death do us part.
When you are little, all things seem so big and unreachable! When you are anticipating something fun, 3 more nights sleeping seems like an eternity. And you can be 6 and a half years old, because that half year really counts. As you are growing up, relatively speaking, every year that passes by is a smaller fraction of your life up to then. As I am approaching another birthday, the last year, a 1/31st of my life, has passed by with 25 times the speed it used to when I was 5 (or so it feels).
It’s the same with places. The first time you go into a new workplace, it seems so huge and confusing. As you get more used to the place, it seems to shrink and become so known to you that you can never look at it like you did before. If you are lucky that is better than before, or it becomes a bitter disillusion (the jury is still out on the HEMA for me, they are killing my HEMA-love with HEMA-worst!).
People are not much different. With time, they become bigger or smaller in your view. Sometimes it is an ongoing up and down process, sometimes they shrink so much they disappear altogether. And a very few times, they grow so big, you can’t look past them to view your future.
My dear husband of almost (!) two years, is of the latter sort. In this time of trial, with a house that is hanging together with Alabastine at the moment, no kitchen, many early mornings and late nights, tight planning and even tighter budgets, he is still growing in my eyes. In real life he is 6’4” or about, big enough, but as he is standing there, with his hands at his sides, looking up at the fixing of the ceiling and explaining to me how he is going to make it work….His patience, genuine goodness, love for food and ability to talk 24-caliber nonsense attracted me from the beginning. And still does.
As I stood behind him, waiting to enter the church, the four grandsons accompanying their grandmother through the aisle towards the altar, it hit me. The lady we were saying goodbye to, from which the lifeblood of my husband came, possessed all the characteristics I love so much in him. I had felt that I did not know her that well, but now I know that I am blessed to be able to admire her living legacy every day, for the rest of my life, till death do us part.
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